Tag Archives: being different

Equality to All, and to All a Good Night.

28 Jun

EDIT:::

this blog entry came into my timehop today, 1 day after the historic supreme court ruling that ALL Americans in ALL states have the right to marry the one they love. also note I’ve become way more politically involved and am fully democratic and have burned my republican registered voter card at my Colbert/Stewart shrine. I mean, what?  ah, young ignorance.  *shudders*

**sashays all over the place throwing confetti**

 

 

Gay marriage has, at this date and time, been allowed in California (as it is in some other states) and it has also been declared that same-sex couples shall be granted the same federal benefits as hetero-couples, per the Supreme Court.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait…why should this have even been an issue??

Has me swinging too, man.

Here’s my background (it will make my point I promise)- I am a 25 year old, white American woman, registered republican (though I vote democrat- rebel, I know) from JEFFERSON COUNTY, NEW YORK (not exactly liberal- google it), married with children, semireligiousish (baptized Methodist but very familiar with Catholicism as well, fyi), with a pretty ok set of morals, I support rights of citizens, to include the 2nd amendment, I shoot guns for fun (at targets, you neanderthal), I drink rum and coke as opposed to frou-frou drinks with umbrellas, I am usually home in bed by 10 on school nights, work my life away, and am going to school to be a teacher. OH! I am also an organ doner. (don’t let my landlady know- she is creepily obsessed with my eyes.)

Just your average little white lady.

Everything I am, on paper at least, SCREAMS opposition to equality and gay rights. Because the ONLY arguments to it that I can find either have something to do with religion, morals, the “gay agenda”(<–what??), procreation, and the denial of either a mother/father to a child. But guess what? I am NOT against gay marriage, regardless of what my on-paper profile may say. I have many friends, family members, and friends that I consider family that are homosexual, bi-sexual, asexual, trans-sexual, pan-sexual, and it really GRINDS MY GEARS and OFFENDS me that they, many of whom are in more committed relationships than like, 85% of the straight people on my Facebook page.

JUST SAYINNNNNNN.

So, in light of the recent awesomeness of the Supreme Court, and in support of my LBGT friends, I am about to drop rebuttals on all of these “gay marriage is bad” arguments, like in the best way I know how. Through my wit, humor and mad meatballiness.

Prepare for knowledge bomb drop. I’ll wait……………………………………

Here it comes!

OK, first argument- Gay marriage is against God.

please show me where it says this. that God is against gay marriage.

People use this argument all the time. Like, it is used as LITERALLY number one, and when rebutted, they come back and keep it coming. So, I guess to keep this a blog and not a novel, I’ll take that most popular points and shoot ya down, mmkayy?

So, in the Bible, it says this regarding homosexuality:

Leviticus 18:22 – Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 – If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

BUT! The Bible ALSO SAYS THIS:

Leviticus 19:27–  “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.” (no haircuts!)

Leviticus 19:19 – “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.” (no cute clothes)

Mark 10:11-12, –And He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.'” (well, multiple married people….)

Proverbs 29:15– The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (children need to be hit and not think for themselves??)

My point is THIS. The Bible says A LOT of things. I should know. I went to religious release, Sunday school,  church camp, CHURCH itself, and have read it cover to cover MULTIPLE TIMES.  IF you are going to go full ham on ONE TOPIC, and use that as a basis for WHY something should not exist, under any circumstance, you need to stop throwing stones, get out of your glass house, off your high horse, and scrub the black off your pot, because you friend, are a HYPOCRITE. At this moment my shirt is 45% polyester, 55% cotton, and I ate pig for dinner. I cannot judge the lifestyle or relationships of a person based on verses in a Bible, when I do not follow said verses to a T myself. What DO I follow in the Bible then? Well, the teachings of Jesus and to love your neighbor, do unto others, HELP people in need, and hey- DO NOT JUDGE. I am not the one to judge others, that is not my job. That is God’s job right? I think he can handle it.

How is this even one bit right?? HOW? ..waits…

God and marriage point two (or morals, I guess, its almost the same, really)- so if marriage is between a man, a woman, and God, does that mean Atheists and Agnostics can’t marry? I don’t see anyone picketing THEIR marriages, and THEIR rights…And I know of people who identify as either Atheist or Agnostic and I have never heard anyone up in arms about them marrying…To further my point, my husband and I were married courthouse style, with our parents and whatnot there, and I didn’t give any of my money for the marriage license fee, or the cost to get married to the church…I gave it to New York State. NEW YORK was PAID for ME to get MARRIED. So this whole, gay marriage thing? If you factor in what we paid PLUS the cost of a “REAL” wedding (that we will still have, hopefully)- that is A LOT of cash flow, a LOT of business, A LOT of economic growth. Shit, a dress can be like, $3000 on AVERAGE. That’s ONE HUNDRED times what mine cost!

I googled atheist marriage…I can’t tell…can you?

Point two- Gay people only want to make others gay, and will do so by encouraging their lifestyle!

So dangerous!

What??? Ok. First off, who do you think BREEDS gay people? They are not aliens. LBGT people are BORN, not made. I’m sorry- but every person I have had this conversation with says something along the lines of “Would you CHOOSE to be constantly ridiculed, harassed, tormented, beat up, and discriminated against? NO. I was BORN THIS WAY”. So THERE. They aren’t doing this whole “ooh, I want to be a lesbian this morning, strain ties with my family and friends, be discriminated on, and fight for any right, EVER” thing because it is FUN and to mess with you. JEEZE. Straight people MAKE gay babies, just like we make white babies, and black babies, and redheaded babies, and ugly babies. Shit happens, people. I for one know that if any of my spawn should come out to me, I hope to God that they are in a much more tolerable world for one, and for two, I will love and support them no matter what. Besides, I will probably already know, my Gaydar is LEGIT.

three things I love: glitter, rainbows, and protesting. SIGN ME UP, I will march with you.

Argument three- it goes against procreation, we must marry to procreate.

Actually….no. I sure didn’t (which, would technically be a no-no to God, right?) And I know married couples, and people in general who cannot procreate. So, should THEY not be allowed to be married? Should THEY have rights taken away? NO, they should not. Straight childless couples are entitled to all of the same rights and privileges as straight married with children couples. So what is the difference? IN FACT, I will go so far as to argue this point- a homosexual couple cannot produce a ‘surprise’ child. There is NO unwanted child in a gay household. These children are brought in with love, and a WANT, and often times a HUGE expense (be it adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate, whatever) and discrimination as well, not because mommy got knocked up and kept the kid, and then hates and resents it.

point.

Last point I have (for now, at least)- The permanent denial of a mother or father.

So, like Full House?

BOLSHEVIKS, I CALL BOLSHEVIKS!!!

I know PLENTY of children, who through no fault of their own have grown up, and become a productive member of society without a mother, or without a father. Be it because of a dead parent, a deadbeat parent, or a single person having/adopting a child, it is not that rare. See, most people have FRIENDS and FAMILY who can play supporting roles in a child’s life. For example, a grandpa or an uncle can make a great father figure, as could a grandma or an aunt be a good mommy role model. Even without it though, a kid WILL NOT be permanently damaged by the absence of a parent. This is a risk, not a guarantee, just as it is with kids in the perfect household.

Oftentimes, these kids are SAVED from lives lived in foster care and orphanages. Given up by STRAIGHT PEOPLE

So seriously people, GET WITH IT. As a history freak (and history minor), I will tell you straight up I see this turning out much like the civil rights did. We will progress, and in 40 years seeing two very happy women strolling hand in hand down the street will be no more shocking to you than seeing a black person and a white person together. (Well, for MOST of you, anyways. Some of us still have some catching up to do). I mean, really. Do you want your grandkid to crack open his history book and see this:

“hey….is that grandpa?!”

Because it looks an awful lot like this:

I bet this appalled you. Why doesn’t discrimination against lgbt??

Weren’t we all taught the golden rule? Not to judge? To treat others fairly? Why does that go out the freaking window when someone doesn’t conform to your standards? Please, comment and  let me know.

I’ll be waiting.

This is me. Waiting for you to disprove anything I just said.

Don’t be an Ass Burger, It’s only Autism.

20 Jun

I can’t tell you how many times, on a DAILY basis, I see people, GROWN PEOPLE stare, and point, and yes, occasionally laugh at those with special needs out and about. OR, just be like, completely AGHAST at the whole thing, like they’ve walked into a house of horrors and there is no way out.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I’m talking to you.

 

 

 

Unless you are a small child, you have no excuse. Most of the time, I will say people do that quick “did I just see that” look and then look everywhere BUT at the people I am with, which is WAY MORE TOLERABLE than the following responses:

  • laugh, point, mock, be a straight up dingleberry about it (its happened, and I get ANGRY)
  • stare so long at us, I don’t know whether to pose for a picture, or think that maybe I know you and you are waiting for acknowledgement.

I mean, for REAL now, how in the hell would YOU like it if someone was staring at you, deep into your soul through your eyeballs, trying to feel you out?

 

 

 

its just awkward, and I will do it right back.

 

 

 

Not good, that’s how. So, let me give you my two favorite responses to the two most popular reactions that I have listed:

  • Well, laugh and point and joke? Fool, you better bet your McDonald’s paycheck that I am going to FOLLOW you if possible, or if not, say something along the lines of THIS, LOUD ENOUGH FOR ALL TO HEAR (either following you or not), in that particular voice I get( like if Fran Drescher and Joe Pesci had a baby) when I get angry meatball like:

“Oh, hey, this guy, he’s got jokes! Let’s sit down and listen to another one! Shoot, what was that about retarded people? Maybe like, I dunno, take off your sister’s jeans, so that your testicles can drop, and your voice can mature, so I can HEAR YOU when you got somethin’ cute to say! MMMMKKKAAAYYYY?!?!?!” (<—sadly, I have said this VERBATIM)

 

lol for googling “angry meatball”…but that does have a striking resemblance to me.

 

 

Just stare like we are some sort of optical illusion poster. WELL, then, I am going to either stare right back at ‘cha!, or look you dead in your soul sucking eyes and say “HI!” so maybe you can notice that you are like, being a super creep, and it is NOT acceptable behavior.

Actually, don’t. Just LOOK AWAY YOU FREAK.

 

 

 

So, I guess you may asking yourself this- “well, miss all-and-mighty, how do YOU suggest I act? And what is the DEAL with these people, anyways?” (<—been asked that, so…)

I’ll be nice and fill you in on BOTH.

 

 

haha, happy meatballs.

 

 

 

PART ONE: HOW TO ACT AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE “DIFFERENT”

 

 

Motto: Be a Neighbor, Not a Nazi

Like Jake from State Farm, but in REAL LIFE!

 

Well, lets see. Simply enough put, act like you always do (unless you are always a toolbag, then maybe work on that, k?)

Seriously. I know, sometimes people with disabilities may look a little, well, ‘scary’, but you are a GROWN PERSON. ACT IT. I mean really. If you were busted up from an accident or something, would YOU want people staring and pointing or laughing like they just walked into the county fair’s freakshow? (or WalMart at 3am? ba dum tiss) NO, you WOULD NOT. So don’t do it. This is where the golden rule kicks in. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you”. What if that was YOUR kid? Because guess what, asshat? They ARE someone’s kid, someone’s family, someone’s loved one, they are IMPORTANT to someone, and you gotta be some kind of Nazi to think that being a complete dirtwad to someone just because of how they look/act/seem.

 

 

You are like this guy. Picking on and discriminating against those different than you. Sidenote- I would totally throat punch these two.

 

 

 

And for the love of ALL things holy, PLEASE, it won’t KILL YOU to say “hi” if a person with special needs acknowledges you. Many times when out, they are working on things like acceptable social behavior, and being polite, and in the case of many with Autism, even just making EYE CONTACT is a HUGE THING. If they speak to you, smile and say hello. Like Mister Rogers would. Be a good neighbor, not a Nazi.

 

 

 

 

come on now, seriously, how many people do you know that can go from Nazi to Fred Rogers that quick? Talent I tell ya!

 

 

 

Also, if you see someone with special needs having difficulty with something, HELP THEM. You would help a child or your grandmother, right? Well, this is no different. Thankfully, in my near decade of doing what I do, on top of having family members and loved ones with disabilities,  most of the people I come across are from Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Cashiers, shoppers, barbers, policemen, community members, whoever- most of them are awesome at not being rude. But then there are those straight off the U-Boat of Unacceptable Jerks. You are the ones that need this talking to. GET YOUR ACTS TOGETHER. FRICK. Here’s a suggestion to all of you riff-raff: Come do MY job for a day. You might walk into my house with a crappy attitude, but I bet you’ll be walking out a different person. (or, you know, you might not walk out, Nazi. *cracks knuckles intimidatingly*)

 

 

 

…what was that joke again? I can’t understand you through your mouth hole.

 

 

 

 

And for those of you good neighbors- it goes for you too. Seriously- volunteer in some capacity! Be a buddy, help out at the Special Olympics, tutor or mentor a person. Lord knows I do not do my job for the pay, I could get paid anywhere, doing anything. I do it for the personal satisfaction I get, the warm, fuzzy feeling inside when someone accomplishes something, be it putting together a puzzle, making a bed, or saying “hi” for the FIRST TIME EVER. It’s rewarding. The bond I have with people I have met and taken care of day in and day out for so long  will be with me forever. Even if some days I would rather gargle bleach and run with scissors simultaneously. We all have those days, no matter what you do.

 

 

 

 

First Mr. R, now the girls. You really can learn a lot from your elders, eh?

 

 

 

 

 

PART TWO: WHAT IS THE ‘DEAL’ WITH THESE PEOPLE, ANYWAYS?

 

Short answer- nothing. What the hell is the deal with YOU?

Long answer- well, most of my time doing what I do, and within personal life relation has been focused on those with Autism. Here is the “definition” of Autism, as cited from the DSM V (a fancy book for fancy smart doctors):

[The following is from Diagnostic and Statistical   Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM IV]

    (I) A total of six (or more) items from (A), (B), and (C), with at least two from (A), and one each from (B) and (C)

        (A) qualitative impairment in social interaction, as  manifested by at least two of the following
                 1. marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction        

      2. failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level        
      3. a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people, (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)                 4. lack of social or emotional reciprocity ( note: in the description, it gives the following as examples: not actively participating in simple social play or games, preferring solitary activities, or involving others in activities only as tools or “mechanical” aids )

        (B) qualitative impairments in communication as manifested by at least one of the following:        

       1. delay in, or total lack of, the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime)        
      2. in individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others        
      3. stereotyped and repetitive use of language or idiosyncratic language        
      4. lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe play or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level

        (C) restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least two of the following:        

      1. encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus        
      2. apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals        
      3. stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)        
      4. persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

(II) Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the  following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years:    

        (A) social interaction     (B) language as used in social communication     (C) symbolic or imaginative play

(III) The disturbance is not better accounted for by Rett’s  Disorder or Childhood Disintegrative Disorder

 

There you have it, the official diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder. Was that a lot to take in? Yeah? Imagine how the kid who has it feels, on a DAILY BASIS, and then imagine how that would feel on top of your stares and Judge Judy attitude. Tsk tsk.  But honestly, this, like Down Syndrome, ODD, intellectual disability (MR for you out of the loop folks), Cerebral Palsy, FAS, TBI, Dyspraxia, etc., etc., etc., VARIES for person to person. One person on the spectrum may not be able to speak, one may have a full-time job. Currently, 1 in 88 children are affected by Autism. 1 in every 691 babies are born with Down Syndrome. Like, that’s a LOT of kids. With odds like that, eventually, you may know one. So think about it, slowly if you have to. HOW. WOULD. YOU. FEEL. IF. IT. WAS. YOUR. KID???

 

 

 

Exactly. Autism (or any other listed below) is NOT, I REPEAT NOT A PARENTING PROBLEM. AND JOG OFF IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

 

 

  Let me tell you how you will feel. You would feel, at the initial news of a diagnosis, or of a suspected diagnosis, like you have been punched in the gut by Andre the Giant multiple times, while the world is Chicken Little-ing around your head. You will feel like you did something wrong, be it prenatal care, or bad, bad karma. You will DOUBLE feel this gut punch each and every time some ignorant, arrogant, scumbag, loser, jackass, waste-of-air makes a smartass comment. You will TRIPLE feel this when your child/loved one notices. I know, because my child was labeled with special needs (that sound a lot like Dyspraxia, but hey, I’m not a doctor *sarcasm*), I have family members affected by it, and I have work in there too. When you work with someone long enough, they become your family, sorry, no way around that one. So with every success these super awesome people in my life make, relatives or not, I feel intense pride and I could seriously fist pump with them for hours over it (and fist pump we do). But every time someone is a Sergeant Douchebag, I just can’t help but to get that angry gut punch feeling, and go all General Whoop-yo-ass. 

 

 

Yeah, lets see how tough you are. I will OWN you.

 

SO, long, ranty blog short, DO NOT be a jerk. Seriously. Do unto others. If you can’t say something nice.  The Golden Rule applies to EVERYONE.

 

 

Now that we’re clear.

 

Except Hitler. Does NOT apply to Hitler.

And all his friends too! The Golden Rule does not apply here.

 

 

 

 

StigmaCity

15 Jun

I for one, hate stigmas. They’re everywhere. You would think, that this being the 21st century, that would not be the case. Well, here are some examples:

  • You have Autism- Good Lord! Are you retarded? are you Rain Man? What’s 34,567,876 multiplied by 8.93? (308691132.68 for those wondering)
  • Your child has Spina Bifida, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy- oh wow, how much crack did YOU do?
  • You have Bi-Polar- wow, you’re one CRAZY bitch, why can’t you just snap out of this? Why are you yelling? Whoa, don’t mess with her, call the looney bin, YOU’RE ACTING CRAZY! And MY personal favorite: did you hear about the criminal/killer/pedophile who did _______? They say he/she was Bi-Polar.

The list goes on and on, but hey this is a blog, not a book. Now, for a minute, lets look at some OTHER ailments, disorders, disabilities people have:

  • Cancer- OHMIGAWD I’m sooo sorry. It’s never, well way to go smoke stack, or hey, way to fake bake.
  • Diabetes- Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Its never- Ha, should have laid off those cookies huh?
  • Heart Disease/ High Cholesterol/etc.- Please see examples one and two. And its never- well, see what happens when you eat a bunch of fast food, dummies??

So, yeah, just like your aunt, your mom, your grandparents never MEANT to get older and get the “acceptable” (to society’s eyes) diseases, neither did anyone stigmatized. It’s not like that kid in gym class woke up one day and decided, “hey, ya know, the sensory input/output issues and not being able to express myself as others do sounds awesome! I think I would like to be Autistic!” It’s not like the “crazy girl” with Bi-Polar (whose blog you’re reading RIGHT NOW, by the way), decided that hey, taking HUNDREDS of milligrams of Depakote, Lithium, Seroquel (both versions) and Lexapro at night until her shrink finds the right fit so she can sleep peacefully at night and focus at her DEMANDING FULL TIME JOB AND COLLEGE COURSES and take care of her two kids would be TONS-A-FUN!!! Because, quite frankly it’s not. Neither is having to defend yourself or others you love and care about from the stigmas everyone just ASSUMES. I know several people who have had and still have every disease, disorder and ailment that I listed above. Whether faulty genes are to blame, shitty luck,  the issue occurred at their own doing, or a mix of all of the above, they don’t deserve to be treated any less than how YOU would be like to be treated. Because, in time it could be YOU who stands with US in line to enter StigmaCity. And it’s not cool. So, think before you speak and act, and LOOK AROUND… You can learn a thing or two.

 

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