Tag Archives: Bipolar Disorder

Don’t Stop Believin’

22 Sep

…a mantra for the hard times, indeed. Currently, I am trying to be a little more Zen with my life. And hows that working out, Schetti? Well, I’m basically trying to go from THIS:

 

 

FML!!!!!!!!!

…..To THIS:

 

 

 

LML. Cuz who DOESN'T want to lay out in some grass all day??

 

For someone such as myself, this involves some strategic planning. For one thing I’m taking a psych course, basically about managing your life, learning about all the life stages and how to deal. The book is called “I Never Knew I Had A Choice” by a couple of hippie folk. And not to mention my teacher is totally bananas over Star Wars, and uses it as examples…ALOT. So far, the only thing I disagree with is the “fact” that I am Bi-Polar due to these factors, IN THIS ORDER: 1. have a sucky way of using defense mechanisms, 2. had a TERRIBLE childhood (ok…so saying I’m bi-polar because my mommy was mean…isn’t that like, projection- a defense mechanism being used in the wrong way? Thought so…) 3. Hereditary (Yeah, like number one on my own personal list, but whatever) and THEN 4. A chemical imbalance. (hmm. okay, this may be number one, considering meds fix imbalances, not who your relatives are…) SO, ANYWAYS, Jedi-Professor is on to a few things and I shall keep those in mind while just kind of tossing ot the rest. Like, I will objectivly look at mistakes in my past and use them as a tool to not make the mistake again. Don’t want to repeat the dreaded Anakin-Vadar cycle!

 

 

My mistakes will NOT follow me. I repeat, my mistakes will not follow me.

 

On top of fancy-schmancy pysch course, I will be checking in with the shrinkie-doo and the therapist lady more often. FIRST of all, school is taxing, work is taxing, having to be to school everyday cutting on work time, now cutting on checks is PARTICULARLY taxing. NOT to mention it is FALL. Jenna in the City (the productive one, to a point) HATES FALL. With an unrelenting friggin’ passion. Fall relocates Jenna in the City/Small Town to the Country, then to the Boonies, then to a Shack In The Woods, not to emerge until like, almost December. Being a hermit will most definitely put a damper on my ambitions and drive to succeed. Can’t go having that. Considering, hit mid-October and its mid-term-a-palooza. Woo. They won’t have all the answers, but my therapist most definitely knows how to get shit accomplished!

 

 

Like Lucy...But more...HELPFUL

 

And the ever-present power of Blocking. Yes, in this day and age, it is totally within your capability to block drama. Well, social media drama. Not ONLY can you just click a button and become non-existant to someone, change your phone number, and basically fake your own demise in their life without so much as a face-to-face “sod off”, but you can do it from the comfort of your own home, in your undies, or even your fake ass. Whatever floats your boat. And BOOM! Its gone! All is erased from memory like Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Oh, someone wants to write SKANK LMAO, with about 475 LMAO’s they probably pecked out with one finger while the other was jammed up a nose diggin’ for lost gold? BLOCK. Oh GAWD, THIS girl again with her CONSTANT updates that are so annoying it makes my eyes tear up and burn? BLOCK. Or, maybe just “restrict”, so if you still would like to keep in touch, just don’t need all the drama of real-world Judas’s or play-by-play of someone’s entire wordly existance. This handy tool in itself has saved me a bundle on high blood pressure meds.

 

 

Every Assholes' Kryptonite.

 

Getting sleep is also coming in on this list. I will also add to that a balanced diet. Between studying all night, work, school, wanting to be home, and cleansing myself of ridiculousness, I don’t think I’ve been able to clock in much sleep, (at least GOOD sleep) get up early enough to function properly. And for the past couple of days I have sustained myself on coffee, Coke Zero, candy corn, half an enchillada, and a tuna fish sandwich. For two days. No wonder I’m a fucking zombie.

 

 

Must. Have. Sugar... Hey, if I keep it up, I will at least have an awesome Halloween costume.

 

So JenniSchetti’s guide for Zen-cess:

1. Find an Obi-Wan or Yoda of your own, and take the good ideas from them and their hippie book. Not only will you learn about yourself, you’ll learn how to deal with others. Bonus.

2. If you have a therapist (in this day and age, everyone could use one) utilize him/her and TALK honestly. Because if you ain’t honest, they ain’t helping. THEN what the hell are you paying for?? And for Pete’s sake, if they suggest meds, take them. Denial is the biggest battle. You WILL feel better.

3. Keep your friends close, and your enemies blocked. Quite frankly, it is a sucky situation to have someone slander you on a public forum to hundreds of people you don’t know. So heres the solution. Report it, stick up for yourself, and then block those bitches. Because once they get done typing something REALLY NASTY about you, then your refute and they type something even longer and more asshole-ish and get something cool that pops up that says this can not be sent….Ohhh, will that STING.  Its you giving them a virtual bitch-slap. Like the eqivolent of walking away from a ridiculous arguement. REALLLLYYYY hard to do sometimes, with some subjects, but once you do it, you feel soooooo much better. Trust me on that one. Caution: this route entails at LEAST restricting mutual friends who you have a gut feeling that are Judas. And it’s gotta be done, or these people can still delve into the life you “technically” booted them out of (<— pun INTENDED)

4. For the love of God, sleep and eat. Or you will just be up at 2am scrounging up some high-cal snack. (2 layers of cake with buttercream and fondant, anyone?) 6 hours of sleep is probably sufficent. I know if I sleep to little its TORTURE and I’m groggy, then awake, over and over and if I sleep too much, I’m in a fog. Watch what you eat. If I don’t have at the least one coffee a day, I have a migraine. Its a caffiene addiction. But eating a $1 bag of candy corn throughout the day? A sugar crash waiting in the wings. Not to mention early onset diabetes. Now theres some stress for you!

So be like Journey, and believe you can be all zen with your universe, young Jedi!!!

Yeah…so the message isn’t exactly about being “zen” I suppose, but I needed an excuse to post my theme song.

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StigmaCity

15 Jun

I for one, hate stigmas. They’re everywhere. You would think, that this being the 21st century, that would not be the case. Well, here are some examples:

  • You have Autism- Good Lord! Are you retarded? are you Rain Man? What’s 34,567,876 multiplied by 8.93? (308691132.68 for those wondering)
  • Your child has Spina Bifida, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy- oh wow, how much crack did YOU do?
  • You have Bi-Polar- wow, you’re one CRAZY bitch, why can’t you just snap out of this? Why are you yelling? Whoa, don’t mess with her, call the looney bin, YOU’RE ACTING CRAZY! And MY personal favorite: did you hear about the criminal/killer/pedophile who did _______? They say he/she was Bi-Polar.

The list goes on and on, but hey this is a blog, not a book. Now, for a minute, lets look at some OTHER ailments, disorders, disabilities people have:

  • Cancer- OHMIGAWD I’m sooo sorry. It’s never, well way to go smoke stack, or hey, way to fake bake.
  • Diabetes- Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Its never- Ha, should have laid off those cookies huh?
  • Heart Disease/ High Cholesterol/etc.- Please see examples one and two. And its never- well, see what happens when you eat a bunch of fast food, dummies??

So, yeah, just like your aunt, your mom, your grandparents never MEANT to get older and get the “acceptable” (to society’s eyes) diseases, neither did anyone stigmatized. It’s not like that kid in gym class woke up one day and decided, “hey, ya know, the sensory input/output issues and not being able to express myself as others do sounds awesome! I think I would like to be Autistic!” It’s not like the “crazy girl” with Bi-Polar (whose blog you’re reading RIGHT NOW, by the way), decided that hey, taking HUNDREDS of milligrams of Depakote, Lithium, Seroquel (both versions) and Lexapro at night until her shrink finds the right fit so she can sleep peacefully at night and focus at her DEMANDING FULL TIME JOB AND COLLEGE COURSES and take care of her two kids would be TONS-A-FUN!!! Because, quite frankly it’s not. Neither is having to defend yourself or others you love and care about from the stigmas everyone just ASSUMES. I know several people who have had and still have every disease, disorder and ailment that I listed above. Whether faulty genes are to blame, shitty luck,  the issue occurred at their own doing, or a mix of all of the above, they don’t deserve to be treated any less than how YOU would be like to be treated. Because, in time it could be YOU who stands with US in line to enter StigmaCity. And it’s not cool. So, think before you speak and act, and LOOK AROUND… You can learn a thing or two.

 

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